Just in case you don't actually know how to cook bacon.

I got the idea to do this blog when Miriam and I started eating paleo, and I'm hoping to finally really get around to it. I can eat a steak with vegetables for three meals a day, but Miriam objects to the monotony. So, I started looking around for recipes that made eating paleo a more satisfying experience. They're definitely out there, but they're scattered all over the place and some of them seem to have been written by people with no kitchen experience and permanently deranged taste buds. (Some day I'll describe the cauliflower tots.) I thought it would be nice to collect some that worked for me along with some of my own and put them in one place so that I can point to them when people ask about them. (Nobody asks about them; I just like to think that some day someone might.)

Anyway, here are the rules for what I consider "Technically Paleo"

1. No grains, dairy, legumes, potatoes, soy, or processed weird ingredients (including artificial sweeteners).
2. Natural sweetening in limited amounts. Fruit is pretty much OK in my book. My personal rule on honey is that I'm willing to eat an amount that I'd be willing to steal directly from bees. I look on maple syrup and maple sugar a little less favorably than honey and would limit them even more. I'd rather not have cane juice or agave nectar in my food, but I'm not going to completely rule them out. Stevia is gross. Corn syrup sucks.
3. The lower the net carb count in a prepared food, the more likely I am to give it the OK. For instance, Justin's Almond butter has 7g carbs per serving and is made from just almonds. They also offer a variety that has honey in it and has 8g carbs per serving. I'm OK with that level of sweetening.
4. A food can still be "Technically Paleo" even if you shouldn't eat it every day. I'll mention when something is an indulgence, not a staple, but I can't see any reason not to have the occasional cookie made with all paleo ingredients.

A final rule about my blog- This will probably only apply in the extremely unlikely case that people I don't know start reading this, but here it is. If you make a comment on a post that includes any variation on the sentiment "you should just eat real food" I will delete your comment. I hate that crap.

Here's how you cook bacon - Get some bacon (I recommend the uncured stuff from Trader Joe's. It's good.), separate it into strips, lay the strips out flat in a pan, and turn the heat to medium. Flip the strips over about every minute. Cook the strips until they look like something you want to eat. Remove them from the pan and place them on a paper towel to drain. Turn off the stove so you don't burn your house down.

Hopefully the first real recipe will be better than that.